January 8, 2010

Terrorists Deserve Nicknames Too

Posted in Just Darn Clever tagged , at 9:21 am by Andrew

So today’s the court hearing for that guy who tried to blow up a plane near Detroit on Christmas. It’s getting a ton of coverage, as is the terrorist himself – Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. It’s similar to the coverage of Khalid Sheik Mohammed’s ongoing trials in New York City.

So I’m wondering — will the media give Abdulmutallab a cool nickname like they gave Mohammed?

Remember that? The media call him “KSM.” (Wall Street Journal did it; so do CBS and Fox.) It’s entirely too difficult to spell out…or even say…Khalid Sheik Mohammed. Couldn’t possibly expect journalists to spit all that out, and Lord knows we Americans can’t be expected to process such bizarre names. Farouk? Abdulmutallab? I’m confused already.

Plus, nicknames put a human face on these terrorists. So maybe Abdulmutallab will become known by his initials, “UFA.” We could call him “Ufa.” That sounds nice.

Or we could stop being so formal and just call them by their first names, Khalid and Umar. Terrorists have such a bad reputation — nicknames could help soften their image.

In fact, we could relieve much of the angst surrounding the whole terrorist concept if we gave them really cool nicknames. Like “Blaze”…or “Viper.” Wouldn’t that just be great!

So I’m excited to see how the media play up Super Fly’s trial….oops, that’s my nickname for Abdulmutallab. I don’t know if it will stick. Given that he carried the explosives in his underwear, I wouldn’t be surprised if the media call him something like “Farouk of the Loom,”…or just “Wedgie.” But that seems cruel.

We’ll just have to wait and see. Keep up the good work, media!

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