December 15, 2009

Shoulda Put a Bow On It

Posted in Fun w/Photos tagged at 12:12 pm by Andrew

Tis the season for commercials where wives receive cars with giant bows on them. I’m sure there are some husbands who buy cars for their wives, but it seems absurd to me — patronizing, let alone extravagant. (Sorry Dear, I care too much about you to belittle you with a new car.)

But what really appeals to me in these commercials are the bows – the gargantuan red bows. Do people actually use these things, or are they only found in prop rooms at commercial studios? I’ve certainly never witnessed anyone receiving a gift with such a bow. And I know they’re not sold in the stationery section at Target.

Not surprisingly, these bows exist online. and sell them. [We should have known, right? probably sells soft rain gear, and we can likely buy rock paperweights at]

I haven’t engaged in a lengthy search…I’m not fully committed yet…but it appears the bows online max out at 2 feet (for about $40). That just doesn’t match the 5-footers I see on TV. So I may continue the quest.

And when I find one, here’s my plan — I’m a gonna tie that on my car…or my wife’s car…and just let people think what they may. Did I receive a car as a gift? Did I give a car to my wife? Are we far wealthier than anyone realizes? Is Lexus now sponsoring DwyerTime? Who’s to say.

Or…maybe my wife and I will pull a little stunt. When my wife is at the kids’ school, I’ll put the bow on her car in the parking lot. Then, when she comes out, she can start squealing and jumping and thanking me in front of all her friends. They’ll be so impressed that I bought her a car!

Of course, some smartass will probably say, “Why did your husband buy you a used Ford?” Or that know-it-all Peggy will tell my wife, “If you already have an old white station wagon, why would you want another one?”

Friends can really be irritating. So I’ll teach them — I’ll put the big red bow on their car in the school parking lot. Then we can all ask them annoying questions.

I don’t know. Maybe the Internet has a User’s Guide to Big Bows, because I don’t want to look like a fool.

Gift-giving is treacherous.

Maybe I’ll stick with those ridiculous gift bags, and avoid wrapping altogether. But how do I fit a car into a bag?



1 Comment »

  1. […] love the post Shoulda Put a Bow On It by DwyerTime. It is very funny and spot on about gigantic red bows on cars in tv […]

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